Walking With God

Ecclesiastes 5:1-6 NKJV

1 Walk prudently when you go to the house of God; and draw near to hear rather than to give the sacrifice of fools, for they do not know that they do evil. 2 Do not be rash with your mouth, And let not your heart utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven, and you on earth; Therefore let your words be few.

3 For a dream comes through much activity, And a fool’s voice is known by his many words. 4 When you make a vow to God, do not delay to pay it; For He has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you have vowed— 5 Better not to vow than to vow and not pay. 6 Do not let your mouth cause your flesh to sin, nor say before the messenger of God that it was an error. Why should God be angry at your excuse and destroy the work of your hands? 7 For in the multitude of dreams and many words there is also vanity. But fear God.

This passage hits me because following Christ is a serious business. In verse 5, Solomon says, "it's better not to vow than to vow and not pay." God is not a toy to play with or to be manipulated. This passage reminds me how powerful God is. He holds us accountable for what we say when we walk with Him. That's why Jesus said in Matthew 5:33-37,

“Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform your oaths to the Lord.’ But I say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God’s throne; nor by the earth, for it is His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one."

And James repeats it in James 5:12,

"But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath. But let your “Yes” be “Yes,” and your “No,” “No,” lest you fall into judgment."

Totally serious.

We have to be careful with words. It's important to think before we speak whether out loud or quietly in our heart. God is in heaven, in charge of us on earth, and He will judge us. He holds us accountable because He doesn't want us to be double-minded and hypocrites. Actions and words go together hand in hand. When we say we are committed to follow Christ, we must be committed wholeheartedly to follow Christ.

My Big Idol: Idle

Idle is my big idol. I don't actively or consciously worship it but it certainly does take up big chunk of my day. I practice it everyday even without realizing it. God hate idleness. We see it famously in Proverbs. Why? Because God is actively working and being idle is the opposite.

Idleness takes away my time from pursuing to seek out the lost souls. When I'm being called to do the Great Commission, I sit around all day and do unproductive activities. My favorite thing to do is read many blogs and watch YouTube videos. You don't need to mention Facebook out loud because I spend a lot of time on it, too. I can blame social networking for its addictive characteristics but it is just a tool. Like guns don't kill people, people kill people.

From time to time, I know I'm wasting away my time. I could have use time to do the productive things like making my portfolio or search for another job or learn a new skill. And still, I keep wasting away. Even though I realize this is a bad habit, I can't break it. It's been a habit of mine since I was a child. That's a long time. TV was my favorite pastime of idleness. Now it's Internet. I wish the books are.

Even now when I'm a Christian, I still worship idleness. The biggest priority of my day is not God at all. I don't read the Bible or pray. I browse Internet. Worst of all, idleness keeps me from what I've called to do: bringing Gospel to the lost souls. And what's even worse than this, I'm wasting away and my spirit is rotting away. The more time I idle, the more I want to idle. My brain turns to mush and my body turns to big blob of immovable flesh. Then I get a headache and I get sick and I have to stay in bed for few days to recover.

For a while, I used excuses to justify my idleness. I felt entitled to "relax" after a hard day of work. As long as I went to church every Sunday and had Bible study at least once a week, I felt entitled to have time to myself. Not feeling up to do the work I was assigned to, I browsed Internet to be entertained. I even used idleness to numb my emotions and wasted away the rest of the day so I could just move on the next day. (Ugh... Why won't I use books instead of Internet?)

Now that I admit and am aware of its consequences, what can I do about it? Well, inasmuch as I want to say, "Here is the list. Number one...," I know I can't break it easily. Taking a break from Internet won't help either because I'll go back into the cycle afterward. I need to find something to replace it completely and I can't use another tool (like books). It has to be completely different that glorifies God of His character.

Prayer. That is something I lack in and I need discipline in it. Jesus didn't waste his time. When he rested, he prayed. After a hard day of work, he prayed. He didn't waste away. He worked the next day, given with new strength because he prayed. If I continue to replace idleness with prayer, I can overcome my idol. Just so as long as I fix my eyes on Jesus. Will you help me? Because I can't do it alone.

Lack Of Discipline

I think a lack of discipline is the root of my problems. Although I would love to blame everything that went and goes wrong on my parents and people who hurt me in the past because I have a lack of passion and no self-identity, I have a choice. To be disciplined or not to be disciplined.

Discipline is what stands as a root of anything that we do to accomplish. I believe it is. Because I did not stick to the work I was assigned, I lost passion for it. The work was grueling and confusing. I didn't like it at all. But in fact, I signed up for it. I paid for it because I thought it was interesting. I thought it would stimulate my mind to its full potential. I thought it would turn my interest into profit. If I was disciplined to finish every step of the way, I would have been proud of a big accomplishment. Instead, when it got too hard, I ran away. I tried to go back but the longer I stayed off, the worse it got.

The big irony of this is that I was very disciplined growing up (thanks to my mom). I was very studious and did everything well to the best of my abilities. I failed several times but I didn't give up. Perhaps, the biggest contribution to my current lack of discipline is the lack of information or lack of exploration beyond my family's expectations. My high school did not prepare me for post high school life but it did send me in a direction.

Perhaps, I lack information in my school work. Maybe that's why I did not stick to it. But my emotions associated with it were negative. I dropped out and I work miserably at minimum wage jobs. I try to be grateful because I am not unemployed and employers are not morally bad but it's really hard to after I pay back loans (and credit as well) and bills, I have almost nothing in my account.

Perhaps, if I go back and be disciplined in it, it will pay off. I will have a better job and be in a good financial situation so I don't have to worry so much everyday. I don't have to worry about my debt being forced onto my family. If going back is painful or back fires in my face because I left, I know I tried. It will be another hardship I have to endure.

Of course, I pray to God for a better job or a better situation but I know He is teaching me through all the hardships I'm enduring. Some of the hardships are the consequence of my action and choice, and unfortunately, others are the consequences of others around me. When the opportunity presents itself in unexpected ways, I wonder if this is the one I should take advantage of even at the cost of my own, like signing up for a life insurance.

There is one discipline that I don't want to lack in at any time. It is a walk with God. I'm glad that I have a family to support me and guide me in being a disciple of Christ. I make mistakes and falter from being perfect, but I definitely can believe in God's discipline will do me and others well in the long term (eternity). What's great about being a disciple of Christ, God teaches me every step of the way. His knowledge is readily available as long as my heart is open to it.

Rocket Punch Generation Shine by W & Whale

"R.P.G. Shine" (it stands for Rocket Punch Generation) by W&Whale from album Hardboiled in 2008. It's their first single. The lead singer goes by the name "Whale" and the instrumental band who wear dummy helmets over their heads is called "W". "W" was in the music scene since 1999 as an electronica band. I wonder if they were inspired by Daft Punk since they play in the same genre and wear helmets to conceal their identity. Anyway, "W" decided to include a vocalist and held audition. They found a female singer named "Whale" and decided to name their newly formed band in 2008, you guessed it, "W & Whale".

This song talks about a generation that is not happy with their lives but doesn't do anything about it. They're just stuck and are waiting for someone to change it for them. The term "Rocket Punch" is a reference to 1976 South Korean animated film called "Robot Taekwon V" which was inspired by a mecha series from Japan called Mazinger Z. The mecha in the film has a skill called "Rocket Punch" which launches its fist as a projectile and saves the day. Instead of having a mindset of letting a robot fight for them and uses "Rocket Punch" to save them, this song tells them to take actions themselves. If they want to their lives to change, they have to change themselves as a first step in taking actions.

When I first heard this song, I loved. The message may sound cliche but the choice of words is refreshing. Surprisingly, the jazzy vocal fits really well with electronica background. The music video is cute and quirky by random shots. It does have relevance to the song, like a disgruntled young guy at work takes a punch to his boss' face after "Whale" shouts this song in his ears as an encouragement.

Carnival Amour by Jaurim

"Carnival Amour" by Jaurim from album Ruby Sapphire Diamond in 2008. They're an active band since 1997. This band holds the record of longest time being together without any hiatus or member replacement in the South Korea music history. Keep on making music together, Jaurim!

At first, I didn't like it but it grew on me. Now I love this song. This is a break up song which is delightfully well written. "I'm sorry. Thank you. I enjoyed it. Let's have a clean break. Let's not make a big deal." It sounds like this person only likes having shallow relationships, using them for their own selfish gains and personal enjoyment. Perhaps it's why it's called "Carnival" Love. I think the tone (voice), the lyrics, the music, and the video show this sentiment appropriately well.