My Big Idol: Idle

Idle is my big idol. I don't actively or consciously worship it but it certainly does take up big chunk of my day. I practice it everyday even without realizing it. God hate idleness. We see it famously in Proverbs. Why? Because God is actively working and being idle is the opposite.

Idleness takes away my time from pursuing to seek out the lost souls. When I'm being called to do the Great Commission, I sit around all day and do unproductive activities. My favorite thing to do is read many blogs and watch YouTube videos. You don't need to mention Facebook out loud because I spend a lot of time on it, too. I can blame social networking for its addictive characteristics but it is just a tool. Like guns don't kill people, people kill people.

From time to time, I know I'm wasting away my time. I could have use time to do the productive things like making my portfolio or search for another job or learn a new skill. And still, I keep wasting away. Even though I realize this is a bad habit, I can't break it. It's been a habit of mine since I was a child. That's a long time. TV was my favorite pastime of idleness. Now it's Internet. I wish the books are.

Even now when I'm a Christian, I still worship idleness. The biggest priority of my day is not God at all. I don't read the Bible or pray. I browse Internet. Worst of all, idleness keeps me from what I've called to do: bringing Gospel to the lost souls. And what's even worse than this, I'm wasting away and my spirit is rotting away. The more time I idle, the more I want to idle. My brain turns to mush and my body turns to big blob of immovable flesh. Then I get a headache and I get sick and I have to stay in bed for few days to recover.

For a while, I used excuses to justify my idleness. I felt entitled to "relax" after a hard day of work. As long as I went to church every Sunday and had Bible study at least once a week, I felt entitled to have time to myself. Not feeling up to do the work I was assigned to, I browsed Internet to be entertained. I even used idleness to numb my emotions and wasted away the rest of the day so I could just move on the next day. (Ugh... Why won't I use books instead of Internet?)

Now that I admit and am aware of its consequences, what can I do about it? Well, inasmuch as I want to say, "Here is the list. Number one...," I know I can't break it easily. Taking a break from Internet won't help either because I'll go back into the cycle afterward. I need to find something to replace it completely and I can't use another tool (like books). It has to be completely different that glorifies God of His character.

Prayer. That is something I lack in and I need discipline in it. Jesus didn't waste his time. When he rested, he prayed. After a hard day of work, he prayed. He didn't waste away. He worked the next day, given with new strength because he prayed. If I continue to replace idleness with prayer, I can overcome my idol. Just so as long as I fix my eyes on Jesus. Will you help me? Because I can't do it alone.