Prelude To Gratitude Of The Week

After speaking with some sisters as I was wrestling with what some brothers taught, I thought I would give in and apply this one to my life. "Write three gratitudes or positive experiences a day." As much as I would shudder at the thought of life applications of the Bible, I think writing down gratitude would be helpful. After all, as Christians, we need to do this for the sake of glorifying God who is the ultimate giver.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. - Philippians 4:4-9 (ESV)

Why would I shudder, you may ask? For a long time, I was taught to be thankful which is not a bad teaching at all. But as to what we are thankful for, I was conflicted. There are always people who are more fortunate than I am and there are always people who are less fortunate than I am. To compare to the more fortunate ones, I was taught not be jealous or to covet. Fair statement -- it followed the tenth commandment. To compare to the less fortunate ones, I was taught to be grateful for what I have in terms of material possessions and security along with the salvation. To apply this kind of gratitude had put me in the weird, conflicted moral position.

I hate comparison. I was hurt a lot by comparison. My mother would compare me to the children of her co-workers. She would tell me what they did and what I lacked or what I should do in the future. It was like I was not good enough for her. It was a part of putting me on a pedestal which put me under a huge pressure of her expectations. Not only her expectations but my entire family's as well. I was their hope to bring them out of financial burdens because my future looked promising when I got accepted into one of the top universities and my field of study was considered to be designed for brilliant minds. In fact, I was promising to them as I was growing up when I started showing my talent of a great academic mind which could lead to fulfillment of the American Dream. But I had to be better than everyone else. I did not speculate this. They told me. Directly. Many times.

In the church,, the life applications were taught as means of alleviating from pains of trials we go through. It was all about "me" in the woes and "I" needed to rely on God to get me out of a trial. "I" needed to have faith hard enough in God in order for him to grant "my" prayers.  "I" had to take the first step and God would take care of everything else. God would grant "me" 'my" wishes of wealth because He promised "me" that He would prosper His children (Jeremiah 29:11 & Psalm 37:4). Because He saved me when I accepted His Son into my heart, He surely would give me everything here on earth, right? Why would He let His children suffer for their lack of material wealth, great career, good marriage, good health, and/or security in America the Christian nation? "I" have the right to equality, liberty and pursuit of happiness as a American Christian. If not, why would God give "me" "my" natural born talents?

Having gratitude is not hard. I'm grateful a lot of times. My life wasn't so hard either (besides my childhood). However, my family's and societal expectations caused me to have severe depression at college. That teaching was detrimental to my faith because my desires were never realized. The lives of Jesus and his disciples were opposite of the that teaching. I was jealous of my friends who did well. I never wanted to compare myself to people in third world countries or people with cancer from American egocentric perspective. But what could I do to be in a grateful mood?

For the past two months, my roommate would often ask me to look for good things in places where I hate to be at. I hated answering that question. I did not want to do positive thinking tactic. Tainted by my past, it was difficult to hear my brother's teaching about gratitude and renewing the mind. Out of context, it sounded like "The Secret". Of course, that was not what my brother was teaching at all.

After hearing my roommate's little sister sharing her gratitude of having relationships with her sisters and friends, I was encouraged to write down my gratitude. Better yet, I thought I would share from the depth of my heart on my blog weekly. Hence the title "Prelude to Gratitude of the Week." I think Thursday would be good. It is the only day when I have day off. It would be a good part of the Sabbath.

Well, I look forward to it. I hope you are, too.